I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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