I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
