does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
