I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
