I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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