i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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