no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
