I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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