Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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