HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
