maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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