this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
