Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
