I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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