the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
operation harelip BJ is a go
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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