Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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