i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
