Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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