Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
that's an acceptable place to lick
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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