so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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