it wasn't lemon gatorade
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
