Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
