it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
