That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
