Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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