Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
