also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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