Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
