I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
And then my night got REAL pukey
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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