I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we're chasing vodka with high fives
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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