she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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