He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
