i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
