i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
