Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
