He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
