I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He felt like a one man threesome
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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