Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
