Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Randomize
