It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
