belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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