she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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