I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Is it because I queefed?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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