We named our party play list daddy issues
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
