R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
either way he was missing a nipple.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
