i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
