I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
