some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
