worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
