So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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