I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
