so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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