Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
